HOW TO WRITE ROMANCE (From a Fantasy Author's Perspective)

Ah, romance. Love it or hate it, it’s hard to escape. From sweeping declarations of undying devotion to the agonizing will-they-won’t-they tension, romance has a way of capturing our attention. And whether it’s the main course or a subplot in your fantasy epic, science fiction adventure, or contemporary drama, a well-written romantic relationship can add a whole new dimension to your story.

But writing romance isn’t always easy. How do you make two characters falling in love feel natural? How do you create that spark that keeps readers rooting for a couple? And how do you convince your audience that these two people might actually have a future together, rather than simply looking good in a dramatic embrace?

Well, let’s talk about it!

Whether you’re a romance enthusiast or someone who would rather write an epic battle scene or a cozy conversation than a first kiss, understanding the building blocks of romantic relationships can help you craft couples your readers will care about. We’ll explore some common romance tropes, look at how real-life relationships can inspire your writing, and discuss how to create chemistry and believable partnerships that extend beyond the happily ever after.

So buckle up, and let’s talk about love!

COMMON TROPES

One good way to start on a romance is to decide what sort of trope it can follow. Many romances have more than one; for example, almost anything can be paired with a slow burn, or a love at first sight can become unrequited love. These are also by no means every trope in existence, just the main ones, but defiently a solid list that I personally pull from.

1. Friends to Lovers

Two characters begin as friends, and their relationship gradually develops into romantic love. Their established trust and shared history provide a foundation for romance, but they must navigate the risk of changing a friendship that already matters to them.

2. Enemies to Lovers

Two characters begin as genuine adversaries whose goals, loyalties, or beliefs put them in opposition. As they learn more about each other, hostility may give way to respect, attraction, and eventually love.

3. Rivals to Lovers

Two characters compete against each other for a goal, position, or achievement, and their competitive relationship gradually becomes romantic. Unlike enemies, rivals don’t necessarily want to harm each other; their competition can even become a source of mutual respect and attraction.

4. Arranged Marriage

Two characters are promised to one another through family, political, or social arrangements rather than choosing each other independently. The romance may develop as they discover compatibility, or the arrangement may become the central obstacle to personal freedom.

5. Second-Chance Romance

Two characters who were previously romantically involved, or who once had a meaningful opportunity for love, reconnect and consider a relationship again. The story explores whether they’ve changed enough to overcome the problems that separated them or prevented them from getting together the first time.

6. Slow Burn

The romantic relationship develops gradually, with attraction and emotional intimacy building over an extended period. Small moments, growing trust, and unresolved feelings provide the payoff rather than an immediate confession or relationship.

7. Love at First Sight

One character experiences an immediate, powerful attraction to another upon their first meeting. The story may portray that initial spark as destiny, infatuation, or the beginning of a relationship that must still be earned.

8. Unrequited Love

One character loves another who does not return those feelings, at least not in the same way or at the same time. The resulting emotional conflict can drive personal growth, heartbreak, jealousy, or the eventual recognition that love cannot be demanded.

9. Love Triangle

Three characters are caught in a romantic conflict in which one person has feelings for two possible partners, or two people compete for the same person’s affection. The trope creates tension around compatibility, loyalty, and the consequences of choosing one relationship over another.

10. Forbidden Love

Two characters fall in love despite rules, loyalties, social expectations, or circumstances that prohibit their relationship. The obstacle may be external, such as rival factions, or internal, such as a character’s duty to a cause.

INSPIRATION IS KEY

As the old saying goes, art imitates life (and life can also imitate art, but that’s not what we’ll be focusing on today).

This is particularly useful if you struggle with making romantic relationships feel natural and believable. What do I mean by this?

Observe.

There are couples all around you. You might even be in a relationship yourself! Use your real-world experiences as inspiration for your fictional romances. The good, the bad, and the downright annoying.

Personally, I have a front-row seat to a trope-filled relationship right in my own home. My parents are the epitome of opposites attract. Their romance was love at first sight—in my dad’s case—and acquaintances to lovers in my mom’s. They have the bickering, the banter, the arguments, the cute moments, and everything in between. I’ve based many a couple in my own books on my parents in one capacity or another.

Real life is one of your greatest tools as a writer. 

You can observe how couples interact, how they handle disagreements, how they show affection, and how their personalities complement (or clash with) one another. You can draw inspiration from the little things, too: an inside joke, a familiar argument, or a tiny gesture that says I love you without a single word being spoken.

But perhaps you don’t have any inspiring couples around you. Or maybe you do, but their relationships aren’t quite what you’re looking to write. That’s okay! You have other resources at your disposal.

Books, movies, and television shows are full of romantic relationships to study. Look at popular romances and ask yourself: What did you like about them? What didn’t you like? What makes a relationship feel real, and what makes it feel like overdramatized cheese?

Pay attention to the answers. Maybe you love how one couple communicates, or perhaps you appreciate how another works through conflict. Maybe you can’t stand how a character’s entire personality seems to disappear the moment they fall in love. Whatever your reactions, there’s something to learn from them.

Take the elements that resonate with you, leave behind the ones that don’t, and weave what you’ve learned into your own romantic relationships.

After all, you don’t need to reinvent love. You just need to find the pieces of it that make your story feel real.

CHEMISTRY

Chemistry is a big word in the realm of romance. But what does it actually mean?

Romantic chemistry is an intense, mutual pull of physical, emotional, and intellectual attraction that makes interactions feel effortless and electric.

It’s more than just physical attraction. Chemistry can also involve:

• Behavioral Synchronicity: Unconscious mirroring of body language, sustained eye contact, and a natural conversational rhythm.

• Emotional Resonance: The feeling of being truly seen, heard, and understood without having to filter yourself.

But how do you translate these elements into your story?

One way to learn is to observe real-life couples and how they interact (as mentioned above). The same goes for couples in books, movies, and television shows. Which couples feel natural together? Which ones have that spark? What makes their interactions work?

One of the easiest and most common ways to portray chemistry is through banter and bickering—in other words, how characters bounce off one another.

Let’s look at a couple from one of my own books, Will of the Wyls, in the first scene they share together:

“What in Gaia’s name?” Gaddspin barrels around the corner in a blaze of armor, sword drawn, eyes set and ready to kill, as you’d expect from a zealous young knight… at least, until he catches sight of Garret and me. I bite back a groan. Splendid. 

“Save me!” Garrett screeches, scrambling to Gaddspin. “She’s going to drown me!”

“Drown you-ooff!” Gaddspin rushes to slip his sword away just in time to catch Garrett, lifting him into his arms. “Now, why would she do that?”

“Because he’s filthy.” I fumble to smooth out my skirts and toss my curls, tucking the flyaways around my horns. Suffering satyrs, why must he come out of nowhere every time? “He fell out of the window.”

“Again?” Gaddspin rolls his eyes, his jaw clenching. “Garrett, for the love of… curses. Cor, weren’t you with him? It is your duty to watch over him.”

There he goes. Something pulses in my temple. 

“Well, obviously not—because if I were, he wouldn’t have fallen out of a window now, would he?” I snort dryly, wiping my hands on my apron. “Where were you?”

“Oh ho ho. Enough of this.” Gaddspin’s stormy eyes narrow. “Must it always be my fault? You’re his governess! It is your honorable and sacred duty to—”

A short laugh escapes my lips, more of a bark than anything else. 

“Oh? Is that so? You’re his personal guard.” I plant my hands on my hips, quirking an eyebrow. Ha! Barely three years older than me, and he thinks he can tell me how to take care of our charge. “Besides, honorable duties are for the Arch Wizard and mighty knights. I see neither one here.”

“One, I am a knight. I’ve taken that oath. Two, a Wylfolk is close enough to the Arch Wizard. Third, we could go all around the bush with this one, dragon girl.” Gaddspin huffs, allowing Garrett to scramble onto his shoulders, hands automatically gripping the boy’s legs. “I had to patrol the grounds. And your reason?”

“Firstly, Wylfolk and the Arch Wizard are not the same. Secondly, I get that expression, and thirdly, Elowen needed help with the laundry.”

“You two are weird!”

“Laundry? How is that any different than—”

“Problem, children?”

—Will of the Wyls, Madigan Thompson

So, does this scene establish their chemistry and history, as well as their personalities both individually and when interacting with each other?

I would argue that it does!

How? Through a normal bickering conversation.

We get a glimpse of their individual personalities through the way they speak, react, and carry themselves. Gaddspin is the zealous knight, quick to invoke his duties and point fingers when things go wrong. Meanwhile, Cor (our dragon girl and narrator) is sharp-tongued, quick-witted, and more than happy to challenge him. Neither is willing to back down, and neither seems particularly impressed by the other’s attempts to win the argument.

But look beyond the immediate conflict, and we get hints of something more.

They know each other. They’re comfortable enough to argue openly, anticipate each other’s responses, and poke at each other’s flaws. Their exchange has a rhythm to it, with each remark prompting another. Even when they’re frustrated with one another, their personalities complement each other in a way that makes the conversation entertaining to read.

We also get a glimpse of their shared responsibilities and history without needing a lengthy explanation of how they met or how long they’ve known each other. Their argument over Garrett’s care tells us about their respective roles, while their familiarity with each other’s habits suggests an established relationship that extends beyond this one scene.

And we get all of that through dialogue, action, and subtext—not a single declaration of romantic interest.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that every couple needs to bicker to establish chemistry. Some couples flirt, some share quiet moments, and others connect through their shared interests or values. The point is to show how your characters interact and what makes their particular dynamic engaging.

And this technique isn’t exclusive to the friends-to-lovers trope, either (which is what Cor and Gaddspin’s relationship primarily is). It can work for first meetings, enemies-to-lovers romances (think Rapunzel and Flynn Rider), and plenty of other dynamics.

The key is to make the interaction specific to the characters. Their personalities should influence how they speak to each other, how they respond to conflict, and what they notice about one another. Give them room to push, challenge, surprise, and understand each other.

Chemistry isn’t just about two characters being attracted to each other. It’s about what happens when you put those two particular people in a room together.

MORE THAN JUST CHEMISTRY

I mentioned overdramatized cheese in a previous section. The corny confessions and grand declarations of love can be fun and perfectly suited to your story! It all depends on your characters’ personalities and the tone you’re going for (and tone is very important). But amidst all the swooning and dramatic kisses, remember one thing:

Write your couples so readers can believe they’ll function well in a long-term relationship. That is, of course, if you intend for them to have one. While chemistry is the spark in the relationship, compatibility is the steady foundation built over time through shared values, long-term goals, mutual respect, and life habits.

A couple needs more than surface-level banter and physical attraction to convince readers that they’re built to last. Think about the obstacles your characters face throughout your story. How do they each react to a difficult situation? How do they react together? Do they work well as a team? Can they problem-solve together? Do they disagree about solutions but manage to talk things through and reach an understanding?

In other words, how well do they do life together?

Because the reality of a long-term relationship in fiction is that it extends far beyond the moment the reader closes the book. What will their life together look like? Can readers imagine these two sharing a home, navigating everyday challenges, and supporting each other through life’s ups and downs? Can they picture a functioning relationship that goes beyond affection and physical attraction?

You don’t necessarily have to show your characters doing the mundane things that make up everyday life. You don’t need an entire chapter of them folding laundry together (unless that’s your thing). Instead, show readers the qualities that would make those everyday moments work.

Take Hiccup and Astrid from the How to Train Your Dragon franchise. Beyond the kisses and banter, we see them having each other’s backs, talking through difficult problems, turning to one another when they’re struggling, and working together in the middle of tense situations. They understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and they help compensate for each other’s shortcomings.

Their relationship isn’t built solely on attraction or the excitement of falling in love. We see them becoming partners in the truest sense of the word throughout the course of the trilogy.

Give your couples chemistry, absolutely. But give them compatibility, too. Let readers see not only why your characters fall in love, but why they would choose to keep building a life together.

CONCLUSION

At the end of the day, writing romance isn’t about ticking off a list of tropes, inserting a few witty exchanges, and finishing with a kiss. Those things can certainly be fun (and who doesn’t love a good trope?), but the heart of a compelling romantic relationship lies in the characters themselves.

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to the couples in your favorite books, movies, and shows. Study what makes their interactions spark, what makes their relationships believable, and what makes you want to cheer them on—or yell at them to please just communicate for once!

Give your characters room to be individuals. Let their personalities shape their chemistry, their differences create friction, and their shared experiences reveal why they work together. If you want readers to believe in their future, show them more than attraction. Show them two people learning how to navigate life together, in all its wonderful, frustrating, occasionally ridiculous glory.

And remember: there isn’t one formula for writing a good romance. Some couples fall in love at first sight; others take three books and approximately seven thousand near-confessions to get there. Some are sweet and gentle; others bicker like it’s an Olympic sport. What matters is that the relationship feels true to the characters and the story you’re telling.

So go forth, experiment with those tropes, make your readers swoon, and don’t be afraid to get a little cheesy when the moment calls for it.

After all, we’re writing stories. We might as well have a little fun along the way!